from hating me to hating you: an investigation into why people suck

you ever sit down, think about writing, stare at your computer screen, and start wondering about all of the things you could've done your life? yeah, me neither.

no. that was a lie. i'm doing it right now and... now. and ... now. and ... well, you get the point. look at me, i'm 600years old and i'm a fucking investment banker, a junior investment banker! my g.e.d. scores were phenomenal! i could have gone to Harvard; i should have at least applied. me? i went to a variety of shitty no-name universities and drank my face and horse's ass off. you always think, "i'm young, i've got time, i can always go back to school..."

Idiot! why didn't you listen to that nagging voice? why did you say, "mom, i know what i'm doing"? Idiot. now, she's grazing on olympus and i'm getting coffee for old man Higgins - who i'm actually older than by about 550 years - because he doesn't think the "horse-thing-guy" can handle the Jurichio account. FUCK! what did i do with my life?

i thought life would be easy. i was popular, i was funny, i was good looking, but i was kid. i wasn't prepared for mortal life, for life on earth, how could i be? i didn't know what real life was going to be like, i learned most of my social skills from television shows - mt. olympus gets great reception - and being a centaur in olympus isn't a big deal. gods, demi-gods, and mythical creatures of all stripes are a lot more accepting than mortals. mortals have, without a doubt, the most exclusionary tendencies i've ever had the misfortune to observe.

Mortals exclude or otherwise treat people poorly on the basis of one or a combination of the following: race, colour, religion, coutnry of origin, height, weight, sexual orientation, monetary net worth, occupation, aesthetic organization of one's face, addition of horse's body to human torso.

what the fuck is wrong with you people! that's not even a complete list. look, if someone treats you poorly, makes you feel shitty, or otherwise does their best to make your life miserable then, by all means, feel free to avoid that particular person. don't judge that person - you don't know any of the myriad of events that have conspired to create this individual - and don't project his/her negative qualities onto everyone that resembles him/her. no one wants to appear racist but it seems that the vast majority of human beings i've come into contact with carry aroung more prejudices than they'd like to admit. whether couched in the terms of "personal preference" arguments or within ubiquitious specious appeals to evolution (i believe in evolution, i'm just sick of everyone using it to bolster pathetic arguments), the attitude of exclusion looms large in everyday human interactions. and, at the risk of falling prey to it, i'm sick of you prejudiced human pricks.
at least i'm trying to keep an open mind. i'd fuck a human chick. I'd fuck an ugly, fat, short human chickif she made me laugh. hell, i'd fuck an ugly, web-footed, fat, toothless, short, bi-sexual, black, irish, garbage jucie sommelier, claw-handed transexual with a unicorn tatoo if s/he(?) made me feel like maybe life wasn't so bad after all.
t-shirted centaur