nub love

wow, one day i'll learn to track time mortal style but, for now, i remain incapable of navigating your mortal currents. i feel clumsy and awkward in your spaces and am hopelessly out of synch with your schedules. why are you all so commited to this "daytime/nighttime" dyad? come on kids, develop a sleep substitue pill already!

sheesh! i'm sorry, i'm just a bit grumpy. i've recently signed on with Alexandro Constantinez-Cabral-Nuevos-O'Malley - the famous Irish bongo player - and he's been ruthless with his criticism. i mean, he keeps saying " put your hips into it. your hips will find the rythm" but my hips are built differently! everytime i put my hips into it, my tail starts swaying to a completely different, and unheard, rythm. if i really want my bongo career to take off, i might... oh zeus! i feel sick even saying it. i... i might have to get a ... tailectomy!

what would my mother say? she'd be appalled, for sure, but even more than that, she'd be ashamed. i mean, i remember when ol' Aggs (Agamemnon Crete, not the other one) got his t.e. we all laughed and called him nubs. then we started the 'snub nubs' campain. wow, it's sad what a bunch of teenage centaurs can do. you can't blame us, we were so young then; barely 200. wow, were we ever so young and naive?

even the elders ragged on Aggs. all that talk about how t.e.'ers are rejecting their centaurness and how the t.e. symbolizes all sorts of internalized anti-centite beliefs. some said he did it because he contracted a rare form of tail mange. i don't know if that's the case and i don't pretend to know how he felt when we burned him in effigy... well, he probably felt hot.

see, well, Onny (Onan Onapopapoplopapopalopalus) was susposed bring the effigy and he shows up empty and sticky handed - no fucking effigy. well, we had lighter fluid and matches, not to mention the fact that people were reallly looking forward to that effigy burining, so we doused a blanket, lit it, and threw it on poor ol aggy. sure, he bolted and we managed to do nothing more than singe his coat but, wow, the pain lingers.

well, ol aggy fled the city and i heard he hooked up with a mare out in the country and had a slew of little ones. now, here i am, contemplating the very same act of self mutilation that we condemned poor aggy for commiting. weird. life is weird. anyhow, if any of you see old aggy, please tell him that i'm sorry for my part in teh whole 'snub the nub' campain.