emo-taur

Hey kids!
I know it’s been a long time and I apologize. The reason for my absence, aside from the regularly scheduled bout of unnecessary and unwarranted crippling depression (“crippling depression” is a rare form of depression that renders latino centaurs unable to perform even the most basic of functions), is that I’ve been busy juggling an overnight job with early and midafternoon classes. Yikes, a feat no learning disabled, emotionally crippled, and generally anxious latino, 1000lb, 601 year old, investment banking, big titted ghost co-habitating, t-shirt wearing centaur should attempt. Yet, here I am.

What’s new with you? Probably nothing I’m interested in. you see, I’ve decided to experiment with a species of narcissism bordering solipsism. As long as I avoid telling myself that I’m: getting fat; looking too old to be considered attractive; too stupid to accomplish the goals I’ve set for myself; deceiving myself in that I’m actually too cowardly to set for myself the very goals I’d like to accomplish; and, that I’m incapable of actually loving anyone - then my dalliance with narcissism is a rousing success!

Not much else is new. I’ve picked up a copy of Portnoy’s Complaint and have realized that it captures my foal-hood quite well. It’s depressing when someone else articulates affects you mistakenly took as idiosyncratic. It’s such a shame that you’re not the beautiful anomaly you’ve always assumed you were. Hah! We’re all just mass produced idiosyncratic t-shirts pilling up in the cosmological AbercrombieandFinch/AmericanEagleOutfitters/OldNavy/NameYourShittyClothingStore

I’ve just decided to start playing a new game. It’s called ‘lets act/think like a hormone addled teenager teetering on the brink of goth/emodom while pretending that our actions and thoughts are anything but the childish indulgences they are.” I think it’s gonna be a hit!

On the plus side, I’ve watched all three seasons of Arrested Development back to back ad nauseum for about the last three weeks and have fallen madly in love with all of the characters, Will Arnett (the actor), and Mitch Hurwitz. Mostly Mitch, but Will seems pretty cool on the audio commentary. The show has given me a new appreciation for how good acting can be and for how difficult good acting truly is. I developed the latter appreciation by trying to emulate my favorite scenes with the big titted ghost and Spinoza (my cat). Sadly, of the three of us, Spinoza’s the least rigid, the big titted ghost is the least transparent, and I’m the least talented.

Well, I guess that’s all for this today’s post. I’ve vowed to continue this blog despite my increasing inability to perform even the simplest of tasks because, well … no reason at all, I guess. Maybe I just need to write (poorly) because it helps this ole centaur clear his head in a way that delivering hoof kicks to innocent old ladies and war criminals alike just can’t.

Talk to you soon,
t-shirted centaur

ps. I mainly deliver hoof kicks to war criminals and only occasionally to innocent old ladies who are, for the most part, simply collateral damage.

Pps. Watch the easter bunny video! Watch it! It’s more than great; it’s Great! if zeus were to take on the form of video he would be this video.

Ppps. Listen to The Honorary Title’s Everything I Once Had, most notably the second signer at about 2:40 – that guy’s voice kills me (in the good way). I would do anything to convey that kind of emotion through the power of my voice – think of the chicks! Man, I’d probably have to start fucking guys just to break up the monotony of so much pussy.