Middle Class Sunday (Or, When Your Existence Is a Crime)

Indicators that you're in some kind of trouble:

- calculating how much fat was in that squeze tube of cake icing you just ate.
- looking up the list "famous suicides" on wikipedia
- watching mary kate/ashely olson on tv and thinkng "if only i had their lives"
- masturbating becomes a joyless chore - but you do it anyway
- you're on a date with a beautiful girl and she utters the following passage in a non-ironic, totally sincere, and absolutely earnest way:

"I just want a tall guy, with abs, a good job, blond hair, blue eyes, who'll buy me lots of nice things. We'll have a huge wedding, a honeymoon in hawaii, and i'll have 10 babies in the first 15 years of our glorious marriage.
he'll buy me a huge house with a white picket (sp?) fence in an exclusive [read: all white] neighborhood where i'll bake billions of brownies. my brownies will be the best in the pta because i'll have found a way to bake rainbows and sunshine into them and when the kids bite into them you'll hear nothing but thier [white] laughter and joy.
My husband will tell me stories of how he fired lazy workers [read: non whites] and we'll laugh because we know the bonus he'll get for firing them will buy all sorts of the lattest wonderfull toys for our 9 tall boys and our single beautiful girl.
Our children will be oh so smart - but not smart enough to sass Jesus's teachings and the Truth as dictated by the good book - and they'll excell at all sorts of sports, except the girl; she'll excell at ballet and will one day be prom queen.
Oh the world is a rosy and wonderfull place! "

--- the VILEST, most DESPICABLE, MONSTER to have ever sipped an iced cappuchino in an Ottawa Tim Hortons.


Being a centaur, I've dealt with evil creature before but this, this ... scary. if you come across this monster DO NOT APPROACH IT! Dispatch a minotaur as soon as possible and hopefully it will devour this abomination and eventually excrete it in foul smelling clumps - an infinite improvement over their previous form.

Mortal Humans are incapable of goodness. that's it, you're a pile of wretched, filthy little creatures, with no hope for ... no. I'm sorry. One shit head does not condemn an entire species. Please, i beg of you once more: be decent to one another and for Zeus's sake strive to better yourselves. Don't let this happen to you.